Verhuddeltes Englisch

Zwee Beischpiele fer Abwertungsdiskurse - Witz un Gschpass iwwer die "Pennsylvania Dutch", ihr Wandel un ihr "verhuddeltes Englisch"; aussem englische Zeiding in Lengeschder Kaundi, ´em "Columbia Spy". (Columbia leit weschtlich vun Lengeschder-Schtadt am Susquehanna-Riwwer).

1. Two Dutchmen once got into a dispute about the English language, each one contended that he could command the best. They made a bet at length and appointed a judge to decide between them. They were to utter but one sentence each; accordingly they begun. 'Vell Chon,' said the first, 'dit it rain to-morrow !' 'I kess it vash,' said John. Wasn´t the judge in a quandary.
2. A honest Dutchmen, in training up his son in the way he should go, frequently exercised him in Bible lessons. On one of these occasions he asked him: 'Who vas dat would no sleep mit Bottipher´s vife?' 'Shoseph!' 'Dat´s a good boy. 'Vell vat vas de reason he would no sleep mit her?' 'Don´t know ! [~]pose he vasn´t sleepy.